Finally, I am moving on!

I wanted to do this since long but have been avoiding it for no good reasons. But now it’s high time that I purchased a domain name for myself because any further delay may result in irreparable losses. Wondering what makes me think so? Read on

1. I am going to be rich and famous soon and probability of sumitramani.com getting “parked” is increasing day by day at an alarming rate.

2. The amount of traffic this place attracts can tempt even Bill Gates to install Google Adsense. By the way I have no plans of monetizing it at least not in near future. The reason being the fact, that I am not rapacious like him.

3. Further procrastination would have meant more effort required to redirect my dear readers and I don’t want YOU to go through this painstaking exercise

4. Whenever someone used to ask address of my blog, I used to reply back by saying “Google on ‘Sumit Ramani’ and click on first link”. For this Google had agreed to pay a certain amount. And in light of increased popularity I wanted this amount to be revisited but Google is now acting cheap.

Guys now that I don’t have WordPress and Google with me, I would need your love and encouragement (not to forget money) all the more! Looking forward to hear from you at http://www.sumitramani.com

P.S. This was posted at old location (name undisclosed) to help you land here. Now that you are here and done with reading it, you may choose to comment as well!

Just in case I am NOT reachable…

No this not a suicide note. Instead it’s an attempt to answer one simple question: “Why your cell was switched-off/not reachable ?”

Albeit the question is pretty simple, by now, it has been fired at me in every possible tone/pitch, in all languages I understand and of course by everyone who have the 10 digit number including those morons who buzz me to sell insurance policy, personal loans, credit-cards and the likes. I call them morons because they still haven’t realized that I am broke and can’t afford any of those

So ladies and gentlemen if I am not reachable, it doesn’t mean:

1. that I am too busy to receive calls (come on I am still not a CEO)
2. that I am in an aircraft, I might be struggling in a local train though
3. that I am involved in some clandestine activity (Had hai shak ki )
4. that I am absconding because of unpaid credit-card/phone bills (tired of doing this, it’s no fun anymore)
5. that I have set “The number you are trying to reach is switched-off. Please try after sometime” as caller-tune
6. that I am trying to avoid someone/you. (I would rather call up some other person and ensure you are on “waiting” )

All it implies is that my dear Nokia E63 has decided to reboot itself (without my permission of course!) Thanks to VIRUS which made its way to my cell when I was busy synchronizing mails over-the-air

Attention: Wine connoisseurs

Few months back Mr. Manoj Bhadsavle did some printing job of worth Rs 1 Lac for one of the wine manufacturers. Not surprisingly, the task was taken up in good faith and money didn’t exchange hands. As luck would have it, the manufacture had to file bankruptcy and was not in position to pay back for the service.Well no prizes for guessing, the transaction was settled for wine of equivalent amount.

Naturally, Mr Bhadsavle can’t guzzle the entire spirit and is more interested in getting his money back. Now you know the reason behind this 15% discount sale. As they say “Hurry, offer valid till stock lasts”

“So many questions, I need an answer” If this is the song being played on your Mann ka Radio, post kahtam nahin hua hai “beep” would be my response

Q: Who is Mr. Manoj Bhadsavle?
A: Sachin’s Chaddhi-buddy and next door neighbour.

Q: Who is Sachin?
A: Rao Saheb! Does that the ring the bell? Well he was the hero of coastal Konkan trip and is amongst those few mortals who prefer wine to any other liquid. Needless to say he was the first one to steal the deal. On a formal note, he is my colleague at Kotak life.

Q: How to I avail the offer?
A: Here is the step-by-step procedure

1. Select wine from the scanned menu.
2. Zero in on the type and quantity of spirit
3. Pick up the phone
4. Dial 9820239124
5. Ask for Mr. Manoj Bhadsavle
6. Provide Sachin’s reference i.e. Sachin Rao, Kotak Life Insurance Wale
7. Finalize deal
8. Fetch the grape juice, fermented of course

Q: What’s the catch?
A: Since Mr. Bhadsavle stays at Dadar, Mumbai (and has no other branches for wine distribution ), only Mumbaikars would be able to cash in on the Christmas/New-year bonanza

Q: Why am I promoting the sale?
A: I thought its good way to return back to readers for all their support, affection and more importantly for taking all the pain to read my posts

Yogi ki shaadi

Kakka was first to tie the knots (come on he was already 102 or may be 103 before he decided to take the plunge ). Dev was next to follow his footsteps and Yogi bade adieu to bachelorhood few days backs (12 December,2009 to be precise). Unfortunately couldn’t witness the liquidation of first two proud Jawans (of Jai Bharat club) but managed to made it to Kota when “Bhaiya” was knocked off

Here is an attempt to immortalize the special moments and throw light on not-so-obvious part of this well-maneuvered “rollout”.

December 11: Yogi bhaiya and Ruchi bhabhi got engaged a day before “first phase” of wedding. This ensured bhaiya could claim to be single till the very last moment (btw his orkut profile still says so ). Although one couldn’t attend the ring ceremony but tried hard to make one’s presence felt in Mahila Sangeet . This was followed by revision of college-time gossips with laughter and giggles in background

December 12: Bhaiya was damn excited not because it was the d-day but because of the fact that his sahelis had hit the city This further implied more raunak in baarat. On one hand people (read Nimmo) made successful attempts to steal the show and on the other I tried to fit in same 2-3 steps in every damn song irrespective of genre and tempo, completely ignoring the beats .

The baraat was followed by grand reception which further implied few extra hours of bachelorism for dulheraja. As if this was not enough pheres were also divided into two phases further postponing the bandhan.For uninitiated, second phase of the rollout is scheduled in January 2010, once the first release gets stable.

December 16: Bhaiya turns 2X today. This is very similar to people getting insured just before their birthdays which in turn implies lesser premium paid. In this case it probably meant more income generated:D Happy Birthday Yogesh!

The unofficial-official trip to coastal Konkan

We started on much-hyped Friday the 13th but the only negative impact of the dreaded day was positive, a positive change in my weight. Thanks to my friends who were thoughtful enough to buy beer, vodka, wine, whisky, redbull but forgot to get diet-pepsi. But then I am sure substantial chunk of “extra” calories was exhausted due to the laughing riot that one had during those 2 days.

Rama

Ramani

Sachin

The gang was lethal cocktail of known/unknown/lesser known, young & old, single, engaged and married, teetotallers n drunkards, clients and vendors (or partners as they may choose to refer themselves) and most importantly Marathi-speaking and Marathi illiterate people. In spite of this 6 of us had one thing in common; all were in dire need of a “break”

Chonkar

Butala

Shenoy

Day 0 (Mumbai to Srivardhan): The journey started at 8 PM and within 2 hours we had guzzled down at least a dozen cans of beer, had crossed Panvel and had cursed our respective bosses and “common enemies” to death . This was just the perfect time to give “them” a break and stop for dinner. Before we embarked everyone made quick calls to their respective loved ones which was a subtle way of telling them “No more calls please” . Soon we ran out of beer and it was the time for wine, which turned Saheb ON. Post this there was no looking back and Saheb ripped apart every mortal (excluding SVPs and EVPs) and immortal around him (including us). Unfortunately, substantial part of the assault was in Marathi (Happy Mr. Raj?) but it definitely tickled one’s funny bones leaving mouth and stomach aching.

Srivardhan

Shell beach

Day 1 (Srivardhan-Diveagar-Srivardhan): This unlike other Saturday mornings, started early and we were at secluded (well almost secluded) beach of Srivardhan at 10 AM i.e. more than 30 minutes before we reach office on weekdays. The remaining part of first half was spent playing with/in water. Post lunch, group headed to Divegar temple/beach and encountered many lesser known but scenic spots including the shell beach. The story behind Divegar temple was intriguing (although far from reality) but stood nowhere near its impromptu spoofed version, courtesy Saheb. During the entire day the only thing which remained constant was Nilesh’s quest to dig holes (literally) inside and outside water for reasons not known to any of us.

Day 2 (Srivardhan-Harihareshwar-Mumbai): Harihareshwar aka Dakshin Kashi was like a typical bollywood movie and had little bit of everything: beaches (sandy n rocky), temples, trekking spot, fishing zone, eat outs, hotels along with parking lot approved by “competent authority”: P. .Unfortunately, this movie was missed by Chonkar who left at 4 AM (on Day 2) by state transport bus

What follows next is an attempt to immortalize few special memories of the jaunt

Mumbai stint: In retrospect

Exactly two years back, on November 12, 2007 I moved to Mumbai (from Noida) and joined Kotak Life Insurance. This transition from software developer to Business Analyst ( and from Delhiite..OKAY Noidaite to Mumbaikar ) was facilitated by my school-time friend, Amogh Dikshit, who did “this” to me for 12,000 INR (referral bonus) . On the other hand, I chose to do it because I had a dream ( no I didn’t want to sing a song dammit ) , a dream to become an Actuary, which unfortunately is still far from reality .

For no reasons, I thought to “document” few experiences, key learnings, some memorable events and my current financial position, which by no means makes me feel proud

Let me start with what is of primal importance to most mortals (including me ). No prizes for guessing, it’s about money, honey!

Current Assets: 8,732.68 INR (not to forget we are in second week of month)
Current Liabilities: 47,990.32 INR (thanks to my brand new Sony Vaio + phone bills + parties etc)

Investments: Were made with an intention to save tax but played a pivotal role in discounting my net worth
Long term liabilities: Remaining 12 papers of Actuarial

Yeah I know, this would scare away every gal around me but as they say, it was important for the sake of completeness

Professionally,clichéd it may sound, it was a great learning experience. The transition from Business Analyst to Project Manager was painful initially but one got used to it later on . The credit to this, undoubtedly goes to Rohit Acharya who believed in me or pretended so . Setting expectations, identifying/mitigating risks, think/thought through using it to your advantage and building relationships are now most frequently used phrases in my verbal/written communications. In case you thought I am adulating my reporting manager for promotion/hike let me tell you that you are partly right

Personal life went through a rollercoaster ride and I loved it!! Ventured into a start-up (read mDakia.com) ,which sadly is not in good shape and would be closed down anytime . Nevertheless, I am proud of the fact that I made an attempt. Lost few good and some “special” friends and gained many more . Added few extra pounds and got attracted to hookah.

Memorable events? Very few! First one was when I passed CT1 and CT3 sometime in January 2009. The feeling was great especially after having met disaster in May 2008 exams. This was immediately followed by maiden trip to Goa. Not that I did anything great there but thoroughly enjoyed the “freedom” in atmosphere. The second historic event was the most difficult trek of my life, which coincidentally is also the first trek since I came into this world . Conquering Ahupe Ghats was indeed an out of the world experience. Watching Saas Bahu Aur Sensex alone at Fame was yet another golden moment of life

Going with the trend (read Bollywood trend), I plan to come back with sequel of this post next year, more so because I don’t see myself moving out of Mumbai (not sure of KLI ) in near future.

To be continued…

Tum bechne main interested nahin lagte ho …

Not surprisingly this sounds very similar to arguably the most famous dialogue from movie Haasil

“Tum Election jeetne main interested nai lagte ho. Sirf issi ladki ka vote mil jaaye yahi kaafi hai tumhare liye”.

Last week I visited all famous and not-so-famous electronics showrooms (in vicinity of course ) in a quest to buy a laptop at cheapest price and with most freebies (can’t help it, it’s in blood ).The output of this excercise was a BIG hole in my pockets and a bizarre finding. This blog talks about the not-so-obvious part of it.

The sales guys, to say the least, were not really interested in selling. In one of the stores people were busy playing games (read Croma) and in other (Jumbo electronics to be precise) finding ladki in chatrooms. We were yet to recover from the shock when we encountered a sales representative watching porn (ALL THE BEST Staples)!! This obviously overshadows those (popularly known as Vijay Sales ) who didn’t bother to convince us when we walked out unsatisfied.

When mulled over one could think of “lack of sales incentives” as one of the possible reasons. But this,in my opinion, is not good enough to justify the act. I was wondering if anyone can help me with this?

HSBC Credit Card Sucks!

Few reasons why HSBC Credit cards sucks..

They never send statement with transaction details.All it contains is numbers Guess all their software can do is addition and fails to recognize words . Boss you could have requested me, i would have written a small “C” program for you

They have stupidest customer care department who refuses to update address if pin code is not provided.Or the address gets updated after 3 months in absence of pin code (read below)

Three months later they sent statement (with only numbers ) at the aforementioned address, with “pin code”. Believe, it took three months for them to figure it out .

One fine day someone called up saying that they finally managed to trace me. I don’t know which route they followed. According to me a quick search in their database would have done the job.

Few days later one finds a LEGAL NOTICE from Jus Juris (legal advisor to HSBC). A copy of same was marked to my permanent address (with PIN code missing). I presume it took 1 long year for their search engine to find that out.

When I replied to the aforementioned mail with concerns and proofs, no body dared to reply back. Dude, get your facts right before sending “Legal Notice”

After few more months someone called up saying that they want settlement, to which one said YES and the D-Day was decided. But no body turned up on the day. One more reason why they suck.

On a later day someone turned from HSBC to collect the cheque and in return handed over settlement letter. Not to my surprise, the guy misplaced the cheque, bloody suckers

Few weeks passed, they called me to beg for cheque and I obviously obliged.

And today, I got the the same bill with some numbers and no details.Guess they are still stuck to the age old software which cannot recognize English alphabets.

One quick suggestion, stop bugging me!

Rupees 25 only

Yes, I am back!! Ahhh not with a bang but with an intention to share one of my NOT so good experiences.

Its been almost 2.5 years since I got my first salary. During this period, I stayed in three different apartments (rented of course ) spanning over two different cities and one country . The only common thing, that I can recall is we managed to figure in the defaulter-list of electricity bill payment. This obviously implied NO ELECTRICITY for couple of days followed by bill repayment along with late fine. This post focuses on late fine.

CITY 1: DELHI !! well actually NOIDA

When it happened for the first time, it meant shelling out few thousand bucks. I believe 95%  of it was used to grease palms of the line man. Surprised? don’t be. OK.. NOIDA is in U.P. (Uttar Pradesh) , does that fact help?

CITY 2: MUMBAI !! well actually Navi Mumbai :-)

The second time it was entirely taken care by roommates (kudos to them!!), so don’t remember much about it but the last one raised many questions. It was Saturday morning and some one knocked the door at 9 AM and said Boss!! tumhaara connection ka connection kat ne ko mangta hai, tumne 4 mahine se bill nahin pataya. Well this time it made me poorer by 150 rupees and 5/6 of it was burnt on auto rikshawa or “rik” and this naturally baffled me

I still don’t understand how can Rs 25 is good enough to cover following expenses

• Tracking required to zero in defaulters
• Compound interest on unpaid amount
• Time of line man who had to visit my apartment twice i.e. more than hour
• Time of executive who spent close to 20 minutes on me

Note that I have not considered other expenses like rent of office and related expenditures leave apart value of my time

Can anyone help me out with this ?

Co$tly Re$ource ?

Statutory Warning: Please quit reading the post if you are from IT background and heart-patient too.

Most of us especially those who earn their bread and butter from an IT firm (including me) consider ourselves as well-paid, elite, crème de la crème blah blah…. I dare to differ in fact I can prove that maid-servants are “costlier resource” than most of us!!

Yes, its hard to believe and even harder to make you believe. But you see few simple calculations are enough to rip apart one’s belief.

Salary of Maid :Rs 500/month

Time spent: 10-15 mins per day. For calculation lets assume 12 mins.

Billing rate/hour: Rs 100 ( No maid works for more than 25 days )

Now you can do similar calculations for yourself and find out your worth. Well, I empathize with you

Round 1: Maid wins hands down.

Agreed, but I earn more than her as far as gross salary is concerned and lets not talk about lifestyle please. If thats your take I would suggest to hang on for few minutes .

Believe it or not, this is a real incident. Few days back maid of one of my acquittance Parag (name changed ) requested (read threatened) for a hike. They tried to convince her by putting forth several arguments and finally disclosed their salary. What followed next was an eye-opener for most of us, she was making more money than our bright “software engineers.”

Albeit, I would like to delve more into it but I am afraid of its impact on IT companies which in turn might lead to economic crisis. This obviously will have severe impact on my salary and further reduce my billing rate

If you haven’t lost your mental balance yet and this makes sense please do commnet. On the other hand if you think this is crap do not hesitate to blast Alok , mastermind behind the concept.